Unlike most of my latest posts, this one is neither game nor Pokemon related, it’s just me letting some steam, some feelings out.
This pretty much will summarize one thing i deem to be true, something about missing someone, either one specific person, a group of friends, a behavior, well basically feeling “saudade”. For those that don’t know what saudade is:
- 1.(especially with reference to songs or poetry) a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia that is supposedly characteristic of the Portuguese or Brazilian temperament.“her songs are based on love poems and evoke a melancholy known to the Portuguese as saudade”
But moving on, I thing the best annalogy for what I want to say, is that the big things, like a special day in a year,a certain time, something you can see afar, stuff you can protect yourself from, even if they hurt like a bitch, you know they’ll come; on the other hand the small things, are the ones that you can’t expect, like a joke you remember, a scent in the air, something….anything, but at first glance it will be nothing….those moments are the ones that are going to destroy you, like a sniper shot.
So we have a tank (the big things) that has a powerful shot, but you can run from it, you can hide from it, you can defend yourself…and you have the sniper (the little things) that will wait for you to be tired, who will focus calmly in your head, and shot you two times there, and when your corpse in flat on the ground, it will shoot once more on your heart….
And unfortunately, i feel surrounded by snipers, and that I’m shot to often, sincerely i don’t want to know when the tank approaches, I don’t know if I have the strength to avoid it….
I miss too many things, I miss my friends, It’s true that some might have a bigger impact then others, but they where as a whole a big part of myself, nay, a huge part of myself, i miss her….fuck I can’t even start saying how, and why.
Why is this post making me breathless…I shouldn’t be like this, I started writing it for the exact opposite effect…sorry i can’t continue the post… sorry