Blookg, Book, Life, Past

Track I – Samson-»Regina Spector

The pain was unbearable, the kiss was draining him, it was their last. And it was as beautiful as bittersweet, neither of them wanted to either continue nor break it.
But as all things do, after too long or too short, it ended.
“You know, it’s not too late to call this off” she whispered, presenting him with a hopefull, yet fading smile “I know you still love me, and I still love you” She was figthing very hard to fight back the tears “we can still turn this arround”
But he said nothing, he avoided her gaze as hard as he could, it was true, he still loved her, and that was killing him…for fuck sake he still loved her, that was the worse, otherwise this was not as bad, but…they were still in love. And looking at her magnificent hazel eyes would change everything, he would not be able to keep himself togehter, he would fall on his word.
She was his first love, his first girlfriend, they had lived so much, they dreamt together, they had plans, they even had names picked out, promisses of love, and something that burned his soul so bad, he was breaking a promisse, he had sweared that if there was love he would figth.
He did kept his promise in the past, he had done everything right, he sacrificed so much for her…and she did the same, but still…the relationship was going no where, the fights had been constant, the time together was less and less pleasant, and they didn’t cherish one another anymore…somehow it seemed to him that it was better like this, with no lies, no betrayal, no “additional” pain.

He said nothing, he did nothing, and she left, leaving him in a silent house and a hanging tear, it was the end…No best selling book, no movie, no fairy tale, but the memories where good, and after the pain eased they would be able to hold them close, and love them again…the memories. But for now, love was pain, a bleeding deep wound.

Silently he walked out of the living room and into the balcony, staring at the street looking for her, like he did countless times before. And a few minutes later there she was, looking back at him. One on the 4th floor the other on the street, so many times this has happened in the past, nothing but memories now. And one last time, still with their hearts in sync, the proceeded as they did so many times before, making half a heart with their hands, but just before she started crying she turned and left. he turned to, but to smoke a cigarette, maybe it would ease the pain… A flame danced with the wind avoiding the tip of the cigarette, but soon enough it ignited the tip, creating a somehow soothing orange glow, transforming the cigarette into ash, but soon enougth it was no more, the ash fell into the floor, and some tears followed.

With shaky hands he took another cigarette, he flicked the Zippo open and once again, he saw a spark, a flame, turning the tip into a glowing orange stick- they met, they fell for each other- the glow consumed the cigarette turning it into ash -the love was strong but so were the fights- but the glow somehow, subsided, and the cigarette died, it reached it’s end, and so did they

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