Cities, Dubai, Emotion, Life, Lisbon, Personal, Sadness

Fears

Lately I’ve been having nightmares again, but this time I do know the reason, fortunately I do and Unfortunately that knowledge does not help.

Has you probably know already I’ve emigrated, after living 22 years in Portugal I’ve came to the U.A.E, more specifically Dubai. I’ve came here in late August or early September, can’t really recall, but either way it’s not that important. As the first university year passed by there was a feeling of uncertainty that had been growing on my mind. Ok it’s better if I start slowly, once again I’m getting way ahead of myself….

For those who know me you can skip this part, for those who don’t stick around, I’m not a popular person, I don’t make friends with ease, I’m not an extrovert, therefore moving to a whole different country was a big blow on my life. Please don’t misinterpret me , I’ve grown a tonfuck ever since i got here, I’ve discovered talents and qualities i had no idea I’ve had, i outgrow some weaknesses, I’m now a little bit older and a whole lot wiser. But still coming from a few circles of really close friends to a desert, (the outskirts of the city are a desert and so are my circle of friends….but ill get to this point later on). So you can pretty much have the idea of the shock.

But the fear I’ve been having in me comes from a beautiful opportunity of going to London on the third year of my course. On one hand I’m WOHHOOO LONDON OH YEAH, but on the other hand I feel utterly hopeless. I’m already building dome friends circles and for what in a year and a half worth of time I’m heading to London to start anew once again….and what if I end up in an international career moving from place to place, what if i never stick around to have someplace to call home, what if i don’t stick around long enough to have real friends nearby, what if… I don’t stick around long enough to met HER….

And this scares the crap out of me….

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