Blaberring, Emotion, Life, Past, Personal, Still Life

Midnight reflections

 

2014-08-08 22.56.56This post is being written in an almost cliche way, legs crossed, lights out, soft music bright screen, smoke and by a computer user (hey it’s me with dark circles beneath his eyes).

This is not an opinion, nor a cry for help, it’s just a statement. I’m in a weird place, as usual, but this time is kinda different, i’m with everything going my way, and somehow that is taking me down.

I’m scared to death, i feel incapable of moving, kinda like a deer staring at the headlights of a truck. That being said,  i can honestly say that I’m as happy as I’m sad.

I feel impeding doom, the air around my body is always bellow zero, my nights are restless, my head feels dizzy all the time. But, I’m somehow, happy, i think i found the love of my life, I’m a few days from embarking on a amazing new breathtaking journey. 

I really don’t know how I fell. I’m getting rid of elements of my past, and creating memories in a near future….I sold some of my old video games, some mangas (Japanese comic books) even some CD’s. And it … was harsher then i thought it would be. When i was selling a PS3 game “Capcom vs Marvel 3”, and the clerk evaluate the game conditions, i had thousands of flash backs, me and some friends playing it, the championships we did, the online fights that would makes us bite our nails till the bitter end….resulting in a triumphant shout of joy or a endless torrent of curses. And the worst, all those memories, all that, is more valuable to me in my mind then in reality, a game that i bought for 50€ or something like that, two memory filled years later resulted in 4€. Yeah I know video games de value a lot, but … still it kinda bumped me out.

 

But as I said, these memories are still within me, and still count for something. now the future will create some others to add to the collection.

To be honest in a couple of hours I’m about to riffle shuffle the deck, I’m starting the drawing of the cards…. let’s just hope I get the right card on the right moment…

 

 

Tom signing off…

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