So 2016 started with a bang for me, another crazy adventure. In the past I have talked about my summer in Russia, my studies in the United Arab Emirates, my year working in Lisbon, the same year but unemployed in Lisbon. Now I restarted my studies in Arnhem in the Netherlands.
I got a say this is probably my most ambitious project so far… I’ve started anew in a place where everything is new and unknown. A different country -the Netherlands- a new language -well the classes are in English, but I’m also taking dutch at the university- a rented room – with other four people I have no previous knowledge or relation with- and a new university. There is no common ground for me to grab, there is no safety net.
And i gotta be honest…It’s being both a breeze and the hardest thing I’ve done. Everyday i start with the strength of a bull on steroids, but with as much fear as a 4 year old that got lost in the supermarket and can’t see his parents. Its weird, the days are tiresome, but fulfilling, but still there are instances that suck the life out of me. There are moments, when I’m laying in bed, that i get washed by a wave of pure panic….Am I gonna be able so socialize, I am smart enough to this course, am I going to disappoint those who trust me and have faith in me, those who take from their lives to help me, my family that is supporting this adventure, both financially and with faith hope and love, my friends who are rotting for me …. what if I’m weak …. what if …. oh man that freaking what if… but I also know that that faith, that support, that trust, is not based on “unconditionallity”, this people are smart enough to know on whom to root. And in those dark moments where I’m even to scared to ask for help I turn to the love and trust I have in those who love and trust me. Weird stuff right? Maybe. But yeah also true stuff.
So yeah, I’ve been fighting some demons, some fears, some deep problems…but to tell you the truth, I’m in a country i know next to no one, but I have never felt this “un”alone, my family, in particular my mother have been like a real guardian angel, I feel that our relation is in an all time strong. And I’ve never been this open nor this transparent with her.
Ok OK OK enough of the lame stuff, enough of the touchy touchy feeling stuffy. I know you guys what to know about more “practical stuff”.
Arnhem….Arnhem…..A dutch city, cold as hell (well for someone used to the weather of both Dubai and Lisbon), were a slight rain is always present and where winds are furious….and well a beautiful city, rather town….. it’s quite beautiful, and any dutch reader will want to kill me after reading this, but, it kinda reminds of the British countryside, but….with a lot of personality. One of the best things is the amount of greenery….is greenery a word?… well the spell checker does not underlines it so it must be….so many parks, trees, grass, so beautiful! And the university is on one of the parks, on Park Presikhaaf (now the spell checker says there is no such thing as Presikhaaf). Really I’m in love with this town, from the city center, to the parks, passing by Winkelcentrum Presikhaaf, Hogeschool van Arnhem en Nijmegen, I love it….It’s a place that at least for the next few years I’m proud to call home!
Tom Signing Off